For almost thirteen years, Soly was at the centre of my life.
Then, within just a few weeks, I lost my role—and the company went bankrupt.
How do you let go of something that shaped almost your entire adult life?
Over the past months, I often wished I could simply shake off everything that happened and move forward—like a Labrador shaking water from its coat.
But some things are not that easy to shake off.
When people asked how I was doing, I often told them how Soly was doing. Work became life. Business relationships became personal relationships. Over time, my identity became closely connected to being the founder of Soly.
Then, suddenly, it was over.
My departure was not voluntary. When Soly went bankrupt just weeks later, I could only watch from a distance.
It brought disappointment, sadness and a deep feeling of powerlessness. First I lost my role, and then the company itself. It felt as if I had also lost part of who I was.
There are many books about building teams, raising money and growing a company internationally. Far fewer explain what happens when the company you have given everything to disappears.
The years of pressure had already left their mark: sleepless nights, constant stress and always putting the company first. After the bankruptcy came the silence. For the first time in years, there was no next meeting, crisis or target that needed my attention.
There was only one question: who am I without Soly?
During that period, I watched other people try to explain what had happened. Some did so with care. Others judged from a distance. And sometimes, I read rumours that had very little to do with reality.
At the same time, I received many thoughtful messages from former colleagues, customers, partners and people I had not spoken to in years. Those messages meant more to me than most people will ever know.
I chose not to respond publicly.
Not because I had nothing to say, but because I first needed time to separate my emotions from what had happened. I wanted to look honestly at the choices we made, the things we did well, what we could have done better and the lessons I want to take with me.
Slowly, I started making time again for what mattered most: my wife Sanne and our daughter Maud, family, friends and my health—and eventually, for new ideas.
I realised that moving forward does not mean forgetting what happened. It means learning from it, deciding what to take with you and having the courage to choose a new path.
In the period ahead, I will share more about what I have been working on, the founders and companies I support, and the new direction I am taking.
There is also more to the story of Soly than has been told so far. When the time is right, I will share my view—openly, based on the facts and without blaming others.
I may not have shaken off everything yet.
Patrick van der Meulen
Founder & Operating Partner